Monday, January 31, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Oh Dear... I Will Never Understand Men
I realize I just wrote an entry a couple minutes ago but I saw something on facebook right as I was about to go to bed that kind of shook me.
As I wrote back in November, I thought I found a guy that was great. We saw each other every day and were always joined at the hip in the spare times we had available outside of work or classes, in my case. I brought it up at the very beginning that I travel a lot and that this has always been a problem with the guys I date. His response, "No biggie. We'll see what happens when we get there." Long story short, it got there. He started retreating and broke it off with me.
Come to find out he met another girl while I was gone. I found this out for myself and had a feeling this was the real reason he broke up with me, not because of distance. People can work through busy schedules and I thought he was one of them. After taking him off of facebook (yes this sounds so high school but it's our society today) I thought I would randomly see if I could check up on his profile before I went to bed. Low and behold... a new girlfriend. I know we weren't together for too long but I haven't been with someone seriously in 4 years, so for me I wanted it to work. This was a guy I really fell for and wanted to commit to. It sucks to think that feeling is reciprocated but can so easily be thrown away.
It's times like this that I don't feel good enough and then I just have to slap myself in the face and tell myself to stop talking nonsense. But how do you stop the feeling of numbness?
"What the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose."
-Henry Ward Beecher
"The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder."
-Virginia Woolf
As I wrote back in November, I thought I found a guy that was great. We saw each other every day and were always joined at the hip in the spare times we had available outside of work or classes, in my case. I brought it up at the very beginning that I travel a lot and that this has always been a problem with the guys I date. His response, "No biggie. We'll see what happens when we get there." Long story short, it got there. He started retreating and broke it off with me.
Come to find out he met another girl while I was gone. I found this out for myself and had a feeling this was the real reason he broke up with me, not because of distance. People can work through busy schedules and I thought he was one of them. After taking him off of facebook (yes this sounds so high school but it's our society today) I thought I would randomly see if I could check up on his profile before I went to bed. Low and behold... a new girlfriend. I know we weren't together for too long but I haven't been with someone seriously in 4 years, so for me I wanted it to work. This was a guy I really fell for and wanted to commit to. It sucks to think that feeling is reciprocated but can so easily be thrown away.
It's times like this that I don't feel good enough and then I just have to slap myself in the face and tell myself to stop talking nonsense. But how do you stop the feeling of numbness?
"What the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose."
-Henry Ward Beecher
"The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder."
-Virginia Woolf
Oh Dear...
Last time I wrote on here was a good month ago... When things get hectic I tend to get lazy. This is a habit that needs to stop.
So I wrote in some entries about Los Angeles but decided to keep those to myself and not post them. And now that it is a new year, I think it is time to have new beginnings... like with this blog!
For a start, I was able to celebrate New Years for the first time in my 23 years of life with friends outside of Colombia. It was absolutely wonderful (minus the horrible cold I had)! After celebrating with three of my girlfriends in New Orleans, my best friend Leslie and I went to visit a plantation home that resides between New Orleans and Baton Rouge. We learned it was built in the 1800s and hearing how this family lived fascinated me. Doesn't everyone just wish that we could somehow jump back into a time to see how people just like us lived? What was it like having to use candles at night? And how much would that cost having to constantly buy new candles so one could see? How did people socially interact? What were the games children would play to keep them occupied during the day? I wish so much I could jump back in time! That's why in going to this plantation home, I tried to take everything in and even bought a little souvenir called a courting candle.
Courting candle: When a suitor would court a lady, the father of the lady would light the candle. The metal holder allowed the candle stick to be raised or lowered. Once the candle was lit and the wax began to melt to the top of the holder, that meant it was time for the suitor to leave. The great and comical thing about this was that the dad had all the power because he controlled how high or low the candle would be. The higher it was raised meant he thought the man showed promise (and was probably rich), therefore the man could stay longer. If the father thought he wasn't right for his daughter, the candle was lower meaning the candle would burn down faster to the holder. Clever men.
Things like this always delight me! Here's a picture of what it looks like:
Well it is very late and I am exhausted. I will really try to keep writing entries, no matter how little, boring, stupid or fascinating they are :)
So I wrote in some entries about Los Angeles but decided to keep those to myself and not post them. And now that it is a new year, I think it is time to have new beginnings... like with this blog!
For a start, I was able to celebrate New Years for the first time in my 23 years of life with friends outside of Colombia. It was absolutely wonderful (minus the horrible cold I had)! After celebrating with three of my girlfriends in New Orleans, my best friend Leslie and I went to visit a plantation home that resides between New Orleans and Baton Rouge. We learned it was built in the 1800s and hearing how this family lived fascinated me. Doesn't everyone just wish that we could somehow jump back into a time to see how people just like us lived? What was it like having to use candles at night? And how much would that cost having to constantly buy new candles so one could see? How did people socially interact? What were the games children would play to keep them occupied during the day? I wish so much I could jump back in time! That's why in going to this plantation home, I tried to take everything in and even bought a little souvenir called a courting candle.
Courting candle: When a suitor would court a lady, the father of the lady would light the candle. The metal holder allowed the candle stick to be raised or lowered. Once the candle was lit and the wax began to melt to the top of the holder, that meant it was time for the suitor to leave. The great and comical thing about this was that the dad had all the power because he controlled how high or low the candle would be. The higher it was raised meant he thought the man showed promise (and was probably rich), therefore the man could stay longer. If the father thought he wasn't right for his daughter, the candle was lower meaning the candle would burn down faster to the holder. Clever men.
Things like this always delight me! Here's a picture of what it looks like:
Well it is very late and I am exhausted. I will really try to keep writing entries, no matter how little, boring, stupid or fascinating they are :)
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